Human beings have two basic desires...to get and to beget.

The dream to have a family is so universal that it transcends all borders, castes, communities and social strata.In the heart of every parent there is a longing for a baby they can cherish, shower their love on, build their hopes on and give wings to their dreams.

With the coming of a baby, family ties get further strengthened and new bonds are whispered between the parents. Unspoken yet with a common melody of sweet expectation and joy.

So, imagine the great sadness that overwhelms a family when a couple finds it difficult to spontaneously conceive. The dream can shatter into pieces when you want to start a family but cannot do it. Worse...you are then labelled as infertile.

On discovering that you have an infertility problem, you may undergo some or all of these emotions:

• Shock

Infertility is always difficult to come to terms with and the first reaction is shock and disbelief.

• Denial

Escaping from reality. Denial is only unhealthy, specially if it lasts for a very long time. This will prevent the couple from accepting the reality of infertility.

• Guilt

Guilt is the most common response to the issue of infertility. You tend to feel as though you are being punished for some sin that you may have committed! You feel let down and your stature comes down in front of the family. You feel stifled in such a situation.

• Sadness and Depression

You perceive it to be a total loss - loss of a baby, loss of fulfilling a cherished dream and the loss of a relationship which might have gotten cemented with the child. You tend to hope against hope with very few persons around you to talk to. You are left alone to grieve to yourself without any social support.

  Some ways of coping with them:

• Talk to your spouse, relatives, and friends, whoever you feel safe with. In handling any situation of grief, the principal theory is to be able to talk about your thoughts, feelings and actions, not just once but repeatedly.
• Find out what is happening to you, both physically and emotionally.
• Remember that you are not alone in experiencing this.
• Allow yourself to cry. What is more important is that you control your emotions rather than be helpless against its tides and waves.
• Infertility is still not fully accepted in our society. We do not talk about it or its treatment openly. To help yourself you need to have an acceptance of what is happening.You need to be open and honest...not secretive and furtive.
• Do not blame yourself or what you have done in the past. What has happened has happened. Live a day at a time, not in the future or in the past, but today.
• Keep yourself active. Sitting around feeling sorry for yourself will not help you in any way.. Explore your feelings and allow yourself to live and enjoy life again.
• Look after your diet. Make sure you eat well. Limit the intake of caffeine products.
• Start planning your life. Nothing will happen if you just wait around for the world to come to you.

  Before brooding one must know the factors that cause infertility:

• Ovulatory Dysfunction
  This is the most frequent cause of female infertility and is related to the monthly release of eggs. The most common cause being Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). PCOS is the most common hormonal reproductive problem in women in childbearing age. An estimated 5 to 10% of women in childbearing age have PCOS. It accounts for 90% of women with oligomenorrhoea (infrequent periods) and 30% of women with amenorrhoea (absence of periods) and over 70% of women with anovulation. In women with PCOS, the ovary does not make all of the hormones it needs for any of the eggs to fully mature. Since no eggs mature, ovulation does not occur and hormone progesterone is not made. Without progesterone, a woman's menstrual cycle is irregular or absent. Also, the cysts continue to produce male hormones that prevent ovulation.

• Tubal Infertility
  This signifies the blockage of the fallopian tubes. Most tubal diseases are caused by tubal infections such as pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) or a condition called Endometriosis. Endometriosis increases the risk of miscarriage leading to infertility.

• Presence of fibroids, pelvic adhesions, polyps also lead to infertility.
• Surgical Infertility
  These are the anatomic causes of female infertility that lead to surgical repair. These include surgical removal of fibroids from the uterus, ovarian cystectomies, surgical correction of abnormal fallopian tubes and such other procedures.

• Hormonal Infertility
  Hypothyroidism, hyperprolactinemia and low progesterone levels are some common hormonal problems leading to infertility.

• Unexplained Infertility
  These are the most difficult of cases where no obvious cause is detected for a couple's infertility. Many of these cases are undiagnosed cases of Endometriosis and immunological infertility.

  Men suffer from infertility problems due to a wide spectrum of factors:

• Blockages in sperm carrying tubes
• Testicular injury or disease
• Varicocele
• Sperm disorder
• Genetic disorder
• Erection and ejaculation disorder
• Hormonal imbalances
• Environmental toxins and radiation